Farm Girl

Life and love homegrown.

prison essay

Happy New Year friends! I hope your 2019 is off to a wonderful start. We started our day off slow and I’ve been reflecting on what is to come. I’m not a big resolution person like I once was. I feel like you can pick any day of the year to have a fresh start. I think January gets a bad wrap with all of the failed attempts to do all of the things - most unrealistic. It’s more of a reset in perspective for me. What worked and what didn’t last year? What are some things I can improve on? What do I want to accomplish this year?

Zack and I started writing down our goals in a notebook last year and it was fun to open and see what came to fruition and what we can re-add to this year’s list. It’s pretty neat to see how much you can grow in 365 days. I have several goals I’d like to work towards, the most important being to get into God’s word every single day. I started meeting with a friend every Thursday last August for Bible study and it’s one of my most looked forward to days of the week.

Another is to say no more. I’m a people pleaser to a fault (type 9 on the enneagram here) and learned so much about what and who I give my time to in 2018. This year I’m investing in my family more and first; around the table, with one on one time with the girls, more family dates, and quality time. They are growing so fast and I don’t want to miss out on the sweet time we have with them.

I want to continue working on my health. Something I’m truly proud that I started last March. I’m doing something for me this year and that’s to get back to roping with my dad. Another area I gave up when I had kids. It’s broken me to not do what I love but I’ve loved getting to be a mom more. Now that the kids are older and can ride with me and it be a family affair, I’m excited to get back to something for myself. And last, to just be present more.

I hope 2019 is full of blessings for you and your family and that you are gracious with yourself. There will be days when you don’t want to do anything and that is ok too! Rest and try again the next day.

My first day of the year was pretty great. We slept in. We played. We ate. Played some more. Ate some more. Dance parties. Introduced the girls to Father of the Bride Part 2 (I always tell Zack that Steve Martin is his old man spirit animal) Played board games. Zack and I got to workout together for an hour. Pais and I snuck off to the movies for some one on one time while Zack and Scout stayed home and made chocolate chip cookies and hung out. I got to read a little and take a cat nap. Zack and I watched a movie and wrote down some goals and plans for our family this year. I’m also closing the shop for one more day tomorrow because I’m the boss and I can make adult decisions like that and I just feel like I need one more full day with my kids. So that’s fun! I’m liking where this new year is headed already. Good night and Happy New Year, friends! Go love your fam. They are the best things about you.

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Thoughts on 2018 + Word for the Year

As I look back on all that last year brought us, I’m thankful for where we are. 2017 delivered the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. One of the most challenging years for our family that made us reevaluate a lot of things. I couldn’t wait to say goodbye and start with a fresh clean slate but looking back, we grew so much in our marriage, as parents, and our walk with the Lord. Life is hard, you guys. It’s a battle. But a beautiful one and I wouldn’t change mine for a thing. God has mended a lot of areas in my life that were pretty broken and still has a lot of work to do but, I like where I’m headed.I realize that, the hard times are what makes us appreciate the gifts we have. Don’t forget them, learn from them. Start each day as you would a new year and work hard at it. For awhile last year, I felt regret because for a couple of months, time just passed me by while I was sunk into a pretty dark pit. I knew I was missing out but just couldn’t get out of the funk I was in. I never want to slip past any season we are in but especially this one. I love this stage of life we are at. The girls are at such fun ages and although our days are full of chaos, they also consist of belly laughs, toys all over the house, and special moments with our little ladies. They bring us so much joy and I absolutely love being a wife and mom.

Zack and I have really worked hard on our marriage this last year. Something that I will continue to do with each year we are given together. Sometimes, the enemy knows where to punch you in the gut and you just aren’t quite sure how to resolve certain conflict. We realized that a lot of our issues stemmed long before we met and we decided to get some help. I know I talk a lot about my dear friends/mentors Tyson and Christy, but they truly have been life giving to us in many ways. Tyson walked along side us for over a month while we dug deep and found out a lot about ourselves, forgave each other, and fell in love a little more each day. It was hard but goodness, our marriage is stronger than ever. Yes, we still bicker. We are human and he gets on my nerves. (haha just kidding babe) but God really can heal all areas of our lives if we let him. I knew this was the one area I thought I was actually in charge of and finally had to surrender it. White knuckling and tear filled eyes I gave it over and it has never been better. It was one of those times when you look back and wonder why it took you so long. I’m stubborn, y’all. I’m thankful for a patient, loving man who truly sacrifices for me. Who lays it out there and pushes through. Encourages and prays when you can’t muster up the words. I’ve seen Zack in an entirely different way and it’s been a really beautiful ride. We’ve started a little thing were if I have help at the store, we will sneak off for two hours for a “day date” that usually ends us up with a bucket of popcorn plopped down in a theater seat. It’s so simple but one of my favorite things ever and I’m looking forward to a lot more of those this year.

I plan to make 2018 the best year yet. I have a new found hope that will carry me through whatever is going to come our way. Hard times will be there this year, it’s inevitable. But my trust is in Him. More than ever before.

I love to set goals + resolutions. Although, sometimes my resolutions do not always come to fruition, a word of the year has always been fun to focus on. Listen, I didn’t even remember what my word was last year until I searched the archives and looked it up. That’s how much of a hot mess express my life was during 2017. BUT, when I saw it, I really did “pursue” last year. The hard times made me. Isn’t it funny how you find a word, and even though its seems that it was lost or you really didn’t put effort into it, looking back you can really tell that was your anthem? God is in the small details. And I love that he uses time for us to finally have that “ah ha” moment.

With that said, I wanted the Lord to “give” me that word for 2018. I’ve wrestled with wanting it on a silver platter but you know, it didn’t come. However, I really feel like this word is where I need to be this year.

present

Our life was a revolving door of hard times last year that, like I said, slipped passed me for a few months. This year I want to rest in being present. Slowing down, enjoying my family, having long talks with Jesus, making time, and valuing what I’ve been given. I needed a soft place to land after 2017 and I think the present will do just fine for me.

::a few other personal goals for 2018::

  • More day dates with my husband. Making time for us and building a legacy for our girls to strive for in relationship with their spouses someday.
  • Falling more in love with Jesus. Intentionally diving into his word, believing his truths about myself and seeking redemption from my broken emotions.
  • Start a health journey and carve out a little time for myself to pursue it leading to getting my hobby back.
  • Mindfulness and being ‘present’ to myself, my family, and my friendships. I borrowed this one from a blogger I follow and I thought it was perfect for my word.
  • Make more memories and small, special traditions as a family.
  • Eat out less. More time around our table for our family to be present with one another enjoying food prepared by me.
  • Read 12 books this year.

Zack and I grabbed an old journal and jotted down goals together in categories such as “personal, spiritual, marital, family, and work” for us to focus on. We’ve never done this but I thought it would be something for us to look at when things look like they might start to derail off the tracks. Something for us to say “oh, that’s right, this is what we were hoping to gain this year.” as well as to reflect on as it comes to a close in December.

I’m looking forward to see what 2018 will hold. What memories will be made with our family, what new traditions will start, the giggles and conversations poured out over our kitchen table and really lending an ear to HEAR what the Lord is trying to teach us. I’m hoping that remembering to be present, I’ll be more mindful of the Lord’s work in my life.

I’m praying for His presence to fill our home while I’m learning to be present.

“He crowns the year with His goodness.”

-Psalm 65:11

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Word for the Year + 2017 Goals

2017 is finally here. I know many of us where opening the door and ushering 2016 on it’s way. There was a lot of messy last year. And when I mean messy, it was hard to scroll through Facebook without getting flustered at something ridiculous. With the election, Zack and I losing four family members between the two of us, more loss, stress, and just plain ugly coming out of people, my head was spinning on the daily. I had to make the choice to disregard all negativity and just put my hope in God’s plan and purpose in the big things but especially the little things that made me uncomfortable and uneasy. It was something that I learned a lot about last year and its been a good, healthy change for me.My word for 2016 was intentional and as I reflect on simple ways I changed to be more intentional with my time, husband, kids, social media, etc. it truly made a huge difference. I really worked on shifting my focus of being home more and less at the store. I let go of trying to do all the things and hired more help which was a huge blessing. When I was home, I was home. No screen time in front of Paisley and Scout, we worked on doing more things as a family and really spent quality time together. We only have our kids for so long and the time we have is precious. No one outside of my home is more important (regarding answering emails, questions on social media, things that can wait, etc.) than my bunch and I will continue to implement this more in 2017.

I love a fresh clean slate. A blank sheet to start over on and learn from the year(s) before. I have so many hopes and dreams for this new beginning and my outlook this year is very positive, despite the setbacks that will come. With that being said, my word for 2017 is…

This year, my focus is more on the important things. First and foremost, I was to pursue my relationship with God more than I ever have. Nothing in this world is more important and I truly want to learn more than I ever have about Him, who He says I am, and what His plans and purposes are for me. I want to pursue my health and becoming a better me physically. I want to pursue my husband more. I want to spend more quality time, going on dates more often, and having a few getaways a year. I want to pursue my children more by being more intentional with our time, doing fun and creative things, being messy, teaching them things, and loving them fiercely. I want to continue to pursue our relationships with our friends. Last year starting Supper Club was one of the best ideas we’ve had and truly life giving for us. We weren’t seeing our friends enough and to make a point each month to get together has been a tremendous blessing in our lives. And lastly, I want to continue to pursue my dreams of Farm Girl. I have so many ideas but fear tends to creep in and put them on hold. Praying for God’s guidance and provision in the next steps for this little store.

2017 Goals

  1. To live in the presence of the Lord. Seeking and pursuing Him more than ever before.
  2. Bring joy and serve my husband more. Loving and listening, focusing less on my own needs.
  3. Be a more patient and loving mom. To help shape my kids to the plan God has for them, not my own.
  4. Continue to work hard on Farm Girl and establish a permanent place for this business. Going for my dreams.
  5. Become a healthier me. To not give up and be frustrated.
  6. Finish 4 major home projects. The kitchen and living room cosmetic updates. Porch revamp. Finish our room and bathroom.
  7. Cook more. Less eating out and more around our table.
  8. Live slower. Planning fun adventures but being home more during the week.
  9. Go on a Supper Club vacation. We have one planned in the fall!
  10. Finding ways to serve our community more through my business.

I’m so excited to see what all comes from this year and plan to put in just as much in as I want out of it. Have a blessed and happy 2017!

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