I turn 31 tomorrow and as cliche as it sounds, the wheel continues to spin faster. Year 30 came in like a wrecking ball and I did not expect it to be a year of such hard growth. I was expectant for change that would benefit me in the ways I wanted but as God would have it, he used this last year to refine me in other ways that needed to be done for a long time. I was hoping my business would boom after a long hard period of pandemic. Instead, I closed my brick and mortar and had the hardest year online that we ever had. I was hoping to “get over” a lot of what was weighing me down. Instead, I started therapy and slowly began peeling back years of layers and repressed feelings. I felt like turning a new decade would be like turning a new leaf, and in some ways, it was. But just not like how I planned. It wasn’t all sunshine and bunny rabbits and I didn’t have all my sh*t figured out. It was a ton of work and there were so many times I just felt like I was trapped in sinking sand, slowly drowning and there was nothing I could do.

I know that wasn’t true. Looking at the last 365 days, I overcame a lot. I celebrated. I laughed. I danced. I have a healthier home because of the work we have all put in. It’s a beautiful thing on the other side, but it’s not so much in the middle and that’s okay. I want my girls to look back at these entries and realize life isn’t perfect. It’s really messy. You’re never going to have everything figured out at one period of your life and then get to start really living. You have to start where you are, weather the storms that come, and still enjoy and appreciate each day making all of the memories you can.

With that, I want to share 31 things I’ve learned or believe to hold true in the last 31 years.

1. A few solid friendships is all you need. Not everyone is your friend or has your best interest. Invest in those who truly love you and support you.
2. Read. It’s good for you, your mind, and necessary in a technology consumed world.
3. Learn to cook. It doesn’t have to be complex or fancy. But learn to nourish you and your family. Read the labels, eat close to the vine and harvest from the source as much as possible. Being self-sufficient with your food supply is worth it’s weight in gold.
4. Your relationship with Christ is the most important one you will ever have. It’s taken me years to work through a lot of church hurt, undoing what I was taught, and learning the word FROM His word. And not from someone I blindly trusted and skewed scripture to fit a sermon. Not all preachers are this way but consider who you listen to and check it. If it’s a little bit off or wrong, it’s completely wrong. Praying for discernment is so important and if you aren’t going to a Bible teaching church or somewhere that is more worried about light show worship service than being theologically sound, leave. I could really go into this but I’ll just say that American Christianity is such a watered down, comfort driven, selfish culture that really needs a reality check and to turn back to truth. This goes for worship music too.
5. Be slow to speak. Be eager to listen to another.
6. Serving your home is honorable. The most important work you can do is inside your home with the people you’ve been blessed with.
7. Don’t give up on your hobby. Enjoying the thing you love to do is important and makes those that love you really happy to see. I think having “your thing” is necessary and breathes life back in on hard days and gives you a piece of yourself that is just for you.
8. Careful where you get your news from. The media is deceiving and in cahoots with our government. You aren’t a “conspiracy theorist” if you question things.
9. Going on walks each day and getting sunshine is so underrated. Sometimes, it’s the best medicine you can get.
10. Regarding that, move your body daily. The earlier you start investing in your health, the better set up you’ll be. Don’t wait until your late 20’s to start getting a handle on it.
11. Less is more. In many facets of life.
12. Don’t wait until you retire to travel. If you have the means, then budget, plan, and explore.
13. There’s not much a horse can’t cure when you’re having a bad day. Saddle up.
14. Your time is worth something.
15. Your words hold so much power. Be wise in how you use them.
16. Your home doesn’t have to be large or fancy to be beautiful. Beauty is what’s inside. You can make your home a comfort to those that reside inside with a little effort and a lot of love.
17. Steward the land well and it will bless you back.
18. Always stop to admire the sunrise, sunset, and stars God’s created.
19. Handpicked wildflowers in the kitchen will make you smile. Try it.
20. If you have healthy kids to tuck in at night a faithful man to hold you, you’ve won the lottery of life.
21. It’s OK to ask for help. Despite how heavy a load you’re able to carry, you don’t have to.
22. You are never too old to learn a new skill or trade. I’m constantly amazed at what I learn right alongside my kids with homeschool. Learning is fun!
23. Be clear at communicating in your relationships, especially inside your home. Communication goes a long way.
24. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Teach yourself how to be flexible, especially if you are type A like myself.
25. Therapy isn’t for the weak and necessary during certain seasons of life. You aren’t broken for going to talk to someone. Don’t use it as a crutch but if you need help sorting things out, go.
26. Experiences over stuff.
27. Any day is a great day to start something. A little progress over time is better than no progress at all.
28. Never let someone outwork you. If you are committed to doing something do it right. Even if things are out of your control (like a world pandemic HA!) keep working hard with what you’ve got.
29. Own your mistakes and apologize. It doesn’t make you a failure, it makes you human.
30. Love your heart out. You never know when the last time will be the last time. Love people hard and well.
31. Slow down. We live in a FOMO world and it’s killing homes and speeding up time. It’s ok to say no to what most call the American Dream. You’ll end up realizing it’s the best way to live. Soak up all the time you can and enjoy just being together. You don’t have to do all the things to live a fulfilling life. Most often it’s draining you.

I don’t claim to have it all figured out but I feel like these things I’ve learned and try to live out are so important.

Cheers to 31 years.