As I look back on all that last year brought us, I’m thankful for where we are. 2017 delivered the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. One of the most challenging years for our family that made us reevaluate a lot of things. I couldn’t wait to say goodbye and start with a fresh clean slate but looking back, we grew so much in our marriage, as parents, and our walk with the Lord. Life is hard, you guys. It’s a battle. But a beautiful one and I wouldn’t change mine for a thing. God has mended a lot of areas in my life that were pretty broken and still has a lot of work to do but, I like where I’m headed.human condition essayI realize that, the hard times are what makes us appreciate the gifts we have. Don’t forget them, learn from them. Start each day as you would a new year and work hard at it. For awhile last year, I felt regret because for a couple of months, time just passed me by while I was sunk into a pretty dark pit. I knew I was missing out but just couldn’t get out of the funk I was in. I never want to slip past any season we are in but especially this one. I love this stage of life we are at. The girls are at such fun ages and although our days are full of chaos, they also consist of belly laughs, toys all over the house, and special moments with our little ladies. They bring us so much joy and I absolutely love being a wife and mom.
Zack and I have really worked hard on our marriage this last year. Something that I will continue to do with each year we are given together. Sometimes, the enemy knows where to punch you in the gut and you just aren’t quite sure how to resolve certain conflict. We realized that a lot of our issues stemmed long before we met and we decided to get some help. I know I talk a lot about my dear friends/mentors Tyson and Christy, but they truly have been life giving to us in many ways. Tyson walked along side us for over a month while we dug deep and found out a lot about ourselves, forgave each other, and fell in love a little more each day. It was hard but goodness, our marriage is stronger than ever. Yes, we still bicker. We are human and he gets on my nerves. (haha just kidding babe) but God really can heal all areas of our lives if we let him. I knew this was the one area I thought I was actually in charge of and finally had to surrender it. White knuckling and tear filled eyes I gave it over and it has never been better. It was one of those times when you look back and wonder why it took you so long. I’m stubborn, y’all. I’m thankful for a patient, loving man who truly sacrifices for me. Who lays it out there and pushes through. Encourages and prays when you can’t muster up the words. I’ve seen Zack in an entirely different way and it’s been a really beautiful ride. We’ve started a little thing were if I have help at the store, we will sneak off for two hours for a “day date” that usually ends us up with a bucket of popcorn plopped down in a theater seat. It’s so simple but one of my favorite things ever and I’m looking forward to a lot more of those this year.
I plan to make 2018 the best year yet. I have a new found hope that will carry me through whatever is going to come our way. Hard times will be there this year, it’s inevitable. But my trust is in Him. More than ever before.
I love to set goals + resolutions. Although, sometimes my resolutions do not always come to fruition, a word of the year has always been fun to focus on. Listen, I didn’t even remember what my word was last year until I searched the archives and looked it up. That’s how much of a hot mess express my life was during 2017. BUT, when I saw it, I really did “pursue” last year. The hard times made me. Isn’t it funny how you find a word, and even though its seems that it was lost or you really didn’t put effort into it, looking back you can really tell that was your anthem? God is in the small details. And I love that he uses time for us to finally have that “ah ha” moment.
With that said, I wanted the Lord to “give” me that word for 2018. I’ve wrestled with wanting it on a silver platter but you know, it didn’t come. However, I really feel like this word is where I need to be this year.
Our life was a revolving door of hard times last year that, like I said, slipped passed me for a few months. This year I want to rest in being present. Slowing down, enjoying my family, having long talks with Jesus, making time, and valuing what I’ve been given. I needed a soft place to land after 2017 and I think the present will do just fine for me.
::a few other personal goals for 2018::
- More day dates with my husband. Making time for us and building a legacy for our girls to strive for in relationship with their spouses someday.
- Falling more in love with Jesus. Intentionally diving into his word, believing his truths about myself and seeking redemption from my broken emotions.
- Start a health journey and carve out a little time for myself to pursue it leading to getting my hobby back.
- Mindfulness and being ‘present’ to myself, my family, and my friendships. I borrowed this one from a blogger I follow and I thought it was perfect for my word.
- Make more memories and small, special traditions as a family.
- Eat out less. More time around our table for our family to be present with one another enjoying food prepared by me.
- Read 12 books this year.
Zack and I grabbed an old journal and jotted down goals together in categories such as “personal, spiritual, marital, family, and work” for us to focus on. We’ve never done this but I thought it would be something for us to look at when things look like they might start to derail off the tracks. Something for us to say “oh, that’s right, this is what we were hoping to gain this year.” as well as to reflect on as it comes to a close in December.
I’m looking forward to see what 2018 will hold. What memories will be made with our family, what new traditions will start, the giggles and conversations poured out over our kitchen table and really lending an ear to HEAR what the Lord is trying to teach us. I’m hoping that remembering to be present, I’ll be more mindful of the Lord’s work in my life.
I’m praying for His presence to fill our home while I’m learning to be present.
“He crowns the year with His goodness.”