When I was little girl I dreamed about being a mom and what my little family would someday be like. Would I have all girls, boys, two kids, or three? Would we live in this cookie cutter home with a white picket fence? Would I make large home cooked meals in heels, pearls, and perfectly placed hair, always having it together? All of these childhood pre-conceived notions of what making a house a home and being a mom was like changed when I had Paisley. starting off an essay with a quoteMotherhood is the toughest job you will ever have. But, by far the most rewarding. It’s messy. Really messy. And I think also an area where we as women are very vulnerable to the enemy. Thoughts of inadequacy often creep in and the visions we had growing up of what motherhood was supposed to be like can get us down. I can count on one hand of all the days I’ve had it completely together in the last four years of being a mom. And that’s ok.My days do not consist of staying home, cleaning house, and having a homemade pie for my husband to come home to. Instead, I work and own a business, we are usually running 5 minutes (or more) late everywhere we go, I’m kissing a lot of boo boos and applying band-aids.
There are many late nights, little sleep, and a lot of tears. I don’t cook as often as I should and our house is messy 90% of the week. I step on a lot of doll house toys and barbie shoes and usually don’t shower in peace. My hair is constantly in a top knot and I wear more dark circles under my eyes than I do makeup.But that’s the beauty of it all. The little moments when your oldest looks at you after she’s spilled her entire bowl of cereal on the floor, waiting for you to lose it but instead you choose to just go with it. You laugh, tell her accidents happen, and make a game out of cleaning it all up. Then she grabs your face, tells you she loves you and says “mommy, you’re beautiful” as she plants a sweet kiss on your cheek. With tears in your eyes you silently thank the Lord for giving you this messy, precious life. Thankful that instead of letting frustration take over, you chose to give grace and have a moment you will hold onto forever. That’s what real motherhood is. The days can be long but the years are short. Life can be overwhelming but I know that I only have so much time and they won’t be little forever. Sometimes I have to change my mindset when I don’t feel like what I’m doing is enough. The messy moments now remind me to keep going because I know one day I will give anything to have this stage of life back.
In the world we live in today, I think there is so much pressure on moms to do all of the things for our kids when what they want most is time and attention. To just spend the small moments with them. To take time to truly enjoy and listen. We don’t have to have this Pinterest worthy home or meal to get the best mom award. Speaking life and showing love to them will go further than you can imagine. I am constantly amazed at how much Paisley loves, how sweet her words and thoughts are.My girls have taught me so much about patience, sacrifice, strength, grace, love, and true happiness.
No, our life isn’t put together. It’s crazy and a lot to handle at times. I’m far from perfect but our girls know that they are loved deeply by their mom. That I’m always there to dry tears, give bear hugs, and play cowgirls on the spot. We have fun together and I delight in every moment playing pretend, going on snow cone dates, cleaning sticky kitchen tables, having heartfelt conversations, and saying prayers before bed. I am blessed and so thankful for this life God has given me.
I hope this mother’s day you take time to slow down and enjoy the messy, embrace the crazy, and squeeze your babies a little tighter.